5 Signs You’re a Hyper-Control Leader

August 1, 2022

Hyper-Control leaders rarely take their organization as far as leaders who are skilled team builders.


Are YOU a Hyper-Control Leader? How would you know?


Cue the awkward tension, right?


If you’re even conscious to the question, good for you. 


Most leaders who need to ask themselves tough questions won’t. Which means your team might be answering the question instead. 


I get it. I’ve learned that I am predisposed to want to do most things by myself, which is never a good idea.

The good news is it’s a tendency you and I can fight and overcome.


Need some motivation?


Just know that your failure to grow a team will ultimately choke the life of your mission.


And with something like 85% of all campuses in declining enrollment, there’s a ton at stake.


The leader who wants to Hyper-Control everything is a leader who is a risk of losing their best talent.


It’s human nature for teams to feel a sense of belonging and ownership to the work. 


So, how do you know if you’re a Hyper-Control Leader? Here are 5 signs you are.


1. Nobody Does It As Well As You


Many Hyper-Control leaders honestly think they can do things better than their people. And when you’re starting out, sometimes that’s true.


Your campus isn’t exactly swimming in communication specialists, web developers, project managers, team leaders, and creative thinkers. Further, nobody should think as much about the mission and the future of your campus as you. 


Oh, and you don’t have a ton of budget to hire those things out.


So, you attempt to do many of these tasks yourself.


In the early stages of most initiatives, there are many hands-on modeling opportunities needed, indeed. 


You can’t just sit back and say, “all I do is cast vision,” when you have a campus draining enrollment and programs.


But inside this idea that you can do things better is a fatal flaw.


First, you’re only actually good at a few things. Own that. 


Unless it’s your principal gifting and the most important thing you can do to move the mission forward, you may want to consider giving key tasks away to those who own different gifts than you. 


Second, even if you have people who are almost as good as you are in an area, a good rule of thumb is to farm out that responsibility quickly.


Why? Because they’ll get better. 


And, because you need to have the capacity to focus on becoming more brilliant than busy. 


Leaders who desire to become world-class, spend time developing their primary gifts. They learn to delegate very, very well. 


After nearly three decades in leadership, I’ve realized I’m only wickedly good at a few things: 


✅  Coaching Potential

✅  Team Building/Collaboration

✅  Strategic Ideation


I can assess talent quickly, pull people together around ideas and content, and align new strategies to win. 


Everything else falls off a steep cliff quickly.


When I bring those gifts in service to any campus team, I help move their success forward. When I try to do anything else, it’s almost always an average performance (at best)6.


You’re no different.


So, what are you great at? Develop that and let so much of the other stuff go.


2. You Feel “The Guilties” Letting Go


“Great theory, Joe,” you say. But I feel guilty letting go and giving any important work to other people.


Really?


Why?


Maybe you need some time in reflection to get to the root of that.


Listen, it’s not a unique problem. Many leaders feel guilty about giving assignments, tasks, and whole areas of responsibility to other people. But if that’s you, you really need to drill down on why that is.


Essentially your unwillingness to let go assumes you have been favored with all the best gifts, and no one else is gifted.


That’s pride. 


And it means that you will refuse to let other people explore and develop their God-given gifts.


Why would you feel guilty about letting people lean into their gifting?


Own that.


RECLAIM MOMENTUM 

Learn how to drive high community trust and higher team performance via our 2-Hour {Live} keynote delivered on your campus to your team(s).

Learn More

3. You Are Threatened By Gifted People


Let’s be honest. Deep down, you and I can feel threatened by gifted people.


What’s underneath that emotion? 


Insecurity. 


And unchecked, insecurity permanently stunts your growth and the growth of your organization.


Insecurity is unattractive. If you really go there, you’ll find fear, jealousy, anxiety, and all kinds of nasty things brewing under that self-doubt. 


So how do you battle your insecurity? By doing the opposite of what you feel like doing.


Welcome the gifts of other people. 

➜ Give them responsibility. 

➜ Celebrate people who are more gifted that you. 

➜ Trust.


You’ll discover everyone becomes better, including you.


4. You Fear Others Will Fail 


You say, “But what happens when I give important tasks to gifted people, and they mess up or take things in the wrong direction?” “That’s why I need to stay in control.”


Nope. That will get you right back to stunting the growth of your team and mission.


The fear you have of delegating and having people head off in the wrong direction is much easier to solve than you might think.

These are issues of clarity.


Teams align around clarity. Having a clear mission, clear strategies, standards, and clear values, clearly articulated means you can deploy many leaders and never have them run things off the rails.


In the absence of clarity, you will default to control because you worry that leaders will take your system to places you don’t believe it should go. 


And the truth is, they might. Not because they’re underperformers, but because you haven’t been clear with them.


So, if you want to release and leverage your most talented leaders, your job is to state the mission, vision, and strategy clearly enough that it’s simple, scalable, and sustainable for everyone. 


In the absence of clarity, well-intentioned team members end up going rogue, not because they’re trying to be disloyal, but because you never clearly defined the destination.


The more clarity you have as a leader, the less you will feel the need to be a Hyper-Control leader.


5. You’re Chronically Overwhelmed


The final reason you’ll want to stay a Hyper-Control leader is that you’re so overwhelmed you feel like you can’t change anything. In fact, you might feel that you can barely finish reading this blog article.


Hyper-Control leaders always feel overwhelmed because the mission of your campus should always outsize the capacity of an individual… Including you.


Guess what? That will never go away unless you transform. It’s a mindset thing. 


The best way to crush this interference is to start empowering (not overpowering or disempowering) others.


You will stay overwhelmed when you Hyper-Control and your mission will never grow or move forward.


On the better side of this, you may feel overwhelmed for a while because you’re opening up and beginning to empower others.


That’s an entirely different kind of overwhelm - and one that will eventually go away as you find your sweet spot and your team performance grows.


So, the choice is yours: 


➜ The permanent kind that stays because you’ll never delegate anything.


➜ The temporary kind that eventually becomes habituated across your system, and YOU find RELIEF. 


Your call!


Stop the Gravitational Pull of Average Attitudes and Average Performance


I know how much the leadership grind has on the overall health of yourself and your team and I trust that your calendar shows evidence of a few intermittent “recharge” breaks.


But don’t be fooled. 


I’m here to remind you that unless your campus culture brings you more life than it sucks out of you, there are not enough vacation days in your contract to keep you healthy and vibrant. 


Think of what you and your team have endured. 


Leaders hate when I say this (while they shake their heads in agreement), but managing crisis was challenging but leading OUT of crisis will be much more complex and demanding. 


Healthy leaders and teams will be in high demand to build (not rebuild) the plans and strategies to navigate the unchartered territory ahead. 


You need to act and Reclaim Your Momentum!


I’m going on tour to help you get it back. 


I’ve turned this essential topic into a 2-hour LIVE keynote that I’m delivering to campus leadership teams across the county over the next two months. 


If you’re like most campus leaders, you’ve spent countless hours these past years putting out fires, dealing with negativity, drama, and just plain old burnout across the board. 


And, like so many others, you’re fed up with feeling stuck. 


It’s time to take action.

Learn About This 2-Hour LIVE Keynote

What are you waiting for?

It would be an honor to be your guide and help you and your team regain lost ground and Reclaim Your Momentum. 

More Blog Articles

By HPG Info July 8, 2025
How a single leader can sink your team (and how one good one can save it) Last month, a superintendent I work with shared what happened during her presentation of the strategic plan to the board. Twenty years of experience, proven results, polished presentation, and promising data. Halfway through, one executive team member sat back, arms crossed, occasionally checking his phone. A board member started shuffling papers. By the end, three others had adopted the same disengaged body language. What should have been an energizing strategic discussion devolved into polite nods and no real commitment. That same week, a university president I consult with described identical dynamics in her executive team meeting. Different building, same pattern: one person's negativity was infecting the entire senior leadership. This painful parallel revealed a leadership truth that research confirms: one person can significantly impact your team's performance by as much as 30-40%. But one person can also save it completely. The Brutal Science: Your Star Leaders Might Be Your Biggest Problem You've hired brilliant people. Advanced degrees, proven results, impressive credentials. But here's what organizational behavior expert Will Phelps discovered when he planted one "bad apple" into 44 different work groups: Performance dropped 30-40% consistently. It didn't matter if the person was: The Skeptic (aggressively questioning every initiative) The Withdrawer (withholding effort on strategic planning) The Pessimist (negative about every proposal) The result was always the same: One leader's negative behavior infected the entire team. "I'd gone in expecting that someone would get upset with the slacker or downer," Phelps said. "But nobody did. They were like, 'Okay, if that's how it is, then we'll be slackers and downers too.'" Your leadership team isn't choosing to underperform. They're unconsciously mirroring the energy around them—what neuroscientists call "emotional contagion." Where One Leader Changes Everything However, one group in Phelps' study remained energetic and produced excellent results despite the presence of the bad apple. The difference wasn't intelligence, experience, or positional authority. It was one person who understood what MIT's Human Dynamics Lab calls "belonging cues"—micro-signals that create a sense of psychological safety. This leader didn't take charge or give motivational speeches. Instead, he did something much simpler: When resistance emerged during budget discussions, he leaned forward, made eye contact, and responded with genuine curiosity. Not fake positivity, but authentic interest that "took the danger out of the room." Then came the pivot: "That's an interesting concern—what would you suggest we do differently?" Result? Even the resistant member, almost against his will, found himself contributing constructively. The Neuroscience Behind Leadership Infection MIT's Human Dynamics Lab studied hundreds of executive teams using "sociometers"—devices that measure micro-interactions between leaders. Their finding changes everything: You can predict team performance by focusing on how leaders interact rather than what they say. The five factors that drive executive team performance: Everyone talks and listens in roughly equal measure High levels of eye contact and energetic gestures Direct communication between all members, not just with the CEO Back-channel conversations and side discussions Members who explore outside the team and bring information back Notice what's missing from this list? Degrees. Experience. Strategic expertise. Belonging cues matter more than credentials. The neuroscience is clear: simple safety signals reduce cognitive load in decision-making, which in turn increases strategic thinking, drives innovation, and creates breakthrough results (Edmondson, 1999). Your leadership team dynamics are literally working for or against your mission. The Executive Infection Gap: When Smart Leaders Create Stupid Results Every negative interaction in your cabinet costs you: Faculty who disengage because they sense leadership division Students who suffer when initiatives fail due to leadership dysfunction Community members who lose confidence witnessing leadership conflicts The research is concerning: 30 seconds—that's how long it takes for negative energy to spread in executive meetings If one senior leader checks out, others follow unconsciously When leadership teams can't create safety, organizational initiatives die Allowing negativity to spread among your senior team affects every student you serve. From Infection to Connection: The Framework That Works ❌ The Typical Approach (Actually Destructive): Hope the resistant leader comes around Cabinet meeting scenario: Your executive team member constantly questions every initiative, rolls their eyes during presentations, and makes dismissive comments. You address it privately, but nothing changes. Other team members start to disengage. Result: Strategic planning stalls. Good initiatives die. High-performing leaders start looking elsewhere. ✅ The Breakthrough Approach (Game-Changing): Respond to resistance with curiosity and inclusion Same scenario, different response: When the executive team member questions an initiative, you lean forward and say, "You're raising important concerns—help us think through what success would look like from your perspective." Then pivot: "What do the rest of you think about these points?" Result : The resistant leader feels heard instead of dismissed. The team stays engaged. Opposition turns into constructive problem-solving. The ROI of Executive Team Belonging The numbers prove leadership safety wins: School districts with high-functioning leadership teams see 23% better student outcomes Campuses with psychologically safe executive teams show 45% higher innovation rates Simple safety interventions can improve leadership team performance by 30-40% in weeks Your leadership team dynamics aren't just "nice to have"—they're driving every outcome in your organization. Transform Your Leadership Team Starting Today The Executive Safety Test: Step 1: Record your next cabinet/executive team meeting Step 2 : Count belonging cues vs. safety threats among leaders Step 3 : If threats outnumber cues, your leadership dynamics are creating the problem Three Daily Practices: Lean forward when team members raise concerns Respond to resistance with "What am I missing?" and actually listen Create micro-moments of safety in every executive decision The Leadership Team Safety Discussion Protocol: For your next executive team meeting: Have each member share when they felt most and least safe to speak the truth in recent meetings Compare responses—what patterns emerge among your senior team? Practice responding to resistance with curiosity instead of defensiveness Identify any leaders who might be unconsciously spreading negativity Remember: resistance usually signals important information, not disloyalty The Choice Every Leader Must Make You can manage resistance or mine wisdom from it. You can hope that negativity will dissipate or actively foster a sense of belonging among leaders. You can let one senior leader infect your team or become the person who transforms it. You cannot do both. The most brilliant superintendents and presidents consistently choose connection over control among their senior teams. They've learned that executive safety isn't soft—it's strategic. They've discovered that belonging cues among leaders aren't touchy-feely—they're performance drivers. Because leadership team safety is simple . Simple safety scales throughout the organization. Scalable safety creates sustainable performance for students. And sustainable student performance is what brilliant leadership actually looks like. The Hidden Factor Behind High-Performing Teams Here's what I've learned from working with hundreds of leadership teams: The difference between teams that foster belonging and those that spread disconnection isn't just about individual awareness—it's about Team Intelligence (TQ) . When MIT studied executive teams, they discovered you could predict performance by ignoring what leaders said and focusing entirely on how they interacted. Teams with high TQ naturally create the belonging cues that prevent negative infection and amplify positive energy. The TQ Advantage: 40% faster problem resolution in complex situations 27% higher team member satisfaction and retention 35% more strategic objectives achieved on time The breakthrough teams I work with understand that one resistant leader doesn't have to destroy team performance. When teams develop TQ, they learn to respond to resistance with curiosity, mine wisdom from opposition, and transform potential "bad apples" into contributors. Ready to Transform Your Team Dynamics?
July 2, 2025
The 7-Part Framework to Turn Your Bumbling Into Brilliance Here's what happened last Tuesday at a board meeting that was hard to watch. A brilliant superintendent with a post-graduate degree and twenty years of experience spent 45 minutes presenting their "comprehensive student achievement initiative leveraging pedagogical frameworks aligned with district strategic priorities." The board nodded politely. A parent in the back raised her hand: "Can you explain this so my 13-year-old would understand?" The superintendent couldn't. That challenging moment was a graduate course in communication: The most brilliant leaders use language a 13-year-old understands. Smart words are simple, scalable, and sustainable. Fancy words don't edify—they confuse. And to be unclear is to be unkind. Full disclosure: I LOVE words. Early in my career as a young executive, I felt I needed to use a fancy lexicon to prove my competence to my colleagues and community. I was that guy dropping "paradigmatic frameworks" and "synergistic methodologies" in every meeting. Then a colleague lovingly pulled me aside after a presentation and said, "Joe, I think you meant the etymology of this word, not the entomology... That's the study of bugs." No lie, that happened. And I've been on a professional learning track ever since to reform my language to be less fluff and more function. The Brutal Truth: Your Intelligence Might Make You Sound Unintelligent You're brilliant. Your degrees prove it. Your experience confirms it. Your results validate it. But here's what's happening: You sound smart, but communicate unintelligibly Your scholarly vocabulary creates barriers, not bridges Your complex explanations confuse the very people you're trying to help The research is clear: When people encounter complicated messages, they ignore them, seek simplified versions, or research meanings Your brain burns 20% of your body's energy despite being only 2% of your body weight Complex messages literally exhaust people—and exhausted brains don't make decisions The crushing reality: Every fancy word you use to sound smart makes you less effective as a leader. Where Brilliance Meets Clarity The most brilliant leaders pass this test: Can a 13-year-old understand what you just said? If not, you're not communicating intelligently—you're just showing off your vocabulary. Why this matters: It represents your community's actual literacy level It cuts through jargon instantly It forces you to focus on what actually matters It reveals whether you truly understand your own ideas "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." Einstein Most leaders fail this test spectacularly. Smart Words Are Simple: The Science Behind Clarity Meta-analyses of narrative transportation research prove that when people become deeply engaged with simple, clear messaging, they experience significant changes in: Attitudes Beliefs Behaviors The neuroscience of understanding: Simple language reduces cognitive load Reduced cognitive load increases comprehension Increased comprehension drives action Action creates results Your fancy words are literally working against your mission. The Team Intelligence Gap: When Smart People Communicate Stupidly Every confused message costs you: Students who don't apply because they don't understand the value Donors who don't give because they can't grasp the impact Faculty who don't engage because they're lost in the jargon The deeper problem: Your brilliant individual leaders are producing average team results because they've confused sounding smart with being effective. The brutal reality: 15 seconds—that's how long people scan content before bouncing If your message needs a translation, you've already lost When leadership teams can't communicate simply, initiatives die in complexity To be unclear is to be unkind to the very people you're trying to serve. The 7-Part Framework To Force Clarity What students want (in everyday language) The problem they face (no jargon, just truth) Why you understand (personal, not professional language) Your track record (results, not rhetoric) Three simple steps (if it's confusing, fix it) What to do next (one clear action) What's at stake (consequences they can picture) Test every sentence: Would your community understand this? From Scholarly Confusion to Simple Brilliance: Real Examples K-12 Transformation: Standards-Based Grading ❌ The "Smart" Approach (Actually Stupid): "Comprehensive Standards-Based Assessment Implementation Initiative" "As part of our commitment to educational excellence and aligned with district strategic priorities, we are implementing a comprehensive standards-based grading framework. This pedagogical shift represents a fundamental reimagining of our assessment paradigm, moving from traditional percentage-based evaluation metrics to proficiency-based learning progressions..." ✅ The Brilliant Approach (Human-Friendly): "Finally Know If Your Child Is Actually Learning" What parents want: You want to know if your child is ready for next year—not just their grade average. The problem: Your child brings home a "B" but you have no idea if they understand math or just turned in homework on time. When they struggle with algebra next year, you're blindsided. What we do: We teach each skill until your child masters it We report exactly which skills they've mastered and which they're still learning We give extra help on skills they haven't mastered yet The result: Schools using this approach see 23% better student performance and 40% fewer students needing help later. Higher Ed Transformation: AI-Powered Mental Health Support ❌ The "Smart" Approach (Actually Stupid): "Innovative Digital Wellness Ecosystem Leveraging Artificial Intelligence" "In response to evolving student needs and technological advancement opportunities, we are launching a comprehensive digital wellness ecosystem that leverages artificial intelligence and machine learning algorithms to provide personalized mental health support interventions..." ✅ The Brilliant Approach (Human-Friendly): "Get Mental Health Help Before You're in Crisis" What students want: You want to feel better without waiting three weeks for a counseling appointment. The problem: You're struggling with anxiety or depression, but you're not "sick enough" for crisis help. You suffer alone until things get really bad. What we do: Text our AI counselor anytime, day or night (completely private) Get immediate help tailored to your specific situation Connect with human counselors when you're ready The result: Universities using this system see a 60% decrease in students in crisis and a 45% increase in students completing their degrees. The Pattern Every Brilliant Leader Must See Notice the transformation: Confusing messages focus on the institution and use big words to sound impressive Clear messages focus on the person's problem using words they actually use The brilliant leaders understand: Smart words are simple words Simple words are scalable across all audiences Scalable words create a sustainable impact Sustainable impact is the only measure of true intelligence If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough to lead it. The ROI of Speaking Clearly The numbers prove clarity wins: Organizations with simple, clear messaging see email marketing returns of $36-$40 for every dollar spent Systems that test their messaging for clarity generate ROI improvements of up to 760% Teams that communicate simply create breakthrough performance that scales Your fancy vocabulary isn't impressing anyone—it's costing you everything. Transform Your Team's Communication Intelligence The Clarity Test Step 1: Take your most important initiative Step 2: Explain it in simple, human language Step 3: If you can't, you don't understand it well enough to lead it The gap between complex and simple is the gap between failure and success. Three Questions Every Brilliant Leader Must Answer Would any parent understand what problem this solves? Can anyone follow the steps to solve it? Would people actually care about the outcome? Team Intelligence Discussion Protocol For your next leadership team meeting: The Clarity Audit: Have each team member explain your most important campus initiative in simple, everyday language Compare responses—how different are they? Which explanations would actually help someone? The Jargon Purge: List every fancy word you use to describe your work Replace each with a word a 13-year-old knows Test the new version with actual people The Kindness Check: Review your current website, emails, and presentations Ask: "Are we being kind to the people we're trying to help?" Remember: To be unclear is to be unkind The Choice Every Brilliant Leader Must Make You can sound smart or be effective. You can impress colleagues or help students. You can use fancy words or create real change. You cannot do both. "I would not give a fig for the simplicity that exists on this side of complexity; but I would give my life for the simplicity that exists on the far side of complexity." —Oliver Wendell Holmes The most brilliant leaders consistently choose clarity over complexity. They've done the hard work of mastering complexity so they can deliver simplicity. They've wrestled with the big ideas so they can explain them in small words. They've earned the right to speak like a human being instead of a textbook. Because smart words are simple words. Simple words scale. Scalable words create sustainable impact. And sustainable impact is what brilliant leadership actually looks like. Ready to Lead with True Intelligence?  Stop hiding your brilliance behind big words. Start communicating with the clarity that creates change.
Show More