Why Are Humans On The Offensive With Each Other? (5 Reasons Rage Is the New Epidemic)

April 12, 2022

Our culture is changing at breakneck speed.


One of the things that appears to be changing most rapidly is how deeply we seem to dislike each other. Election cycles and global pandemics only push this reality into warp speed.


My social channels used to be a bit more fun. Recently, it seems like my feed has been corrupted by an endless drone of suspicion-fueled anger spawning outrage and division.


It’s almost like you can’t be American without a growler full of outrage.


And why does it have to be so personal?


I’ve stopped following some (including family members) because it’s just become so nutty.


So, how did we end up this way?


Is there anything that you and I can do about it?


Well, let’s start here. Even though it might feel like everybody’s angry, let’s agree…It’s not everyone.


Like you and other thinker leaders, I’m trying to carve out space to hang with other smart and healthy people on the internet to honestly share opinions without jumping all over each other.


While that’s what I’m committed to, it’s not always that simple.


It’s Brewing IN All Of Us


The problem, of course, is more nuanced than simply blaming other people and walking away. I feel the spirit of this age increasingly brewing inside ME as well.


I’m an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.


Being an INFJ means that on my good days, I want to save the world. On my bad days, under stress and pressure, there is a bad public news story waiting to happen.


I can move quickly from mild-mannered Dr. Bruce Banner to the uncontrollable green monster powered by rage when my value buttons are pushed.


As Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn wrote:


If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. 


Doesn’t that sting a little?


Why are we all a little (or a lot) irate? Is this inevitable?


There are some surprising things that fuel anger and there are more than a few reasons that rage is the new epidemic.


1. Online Accelerates Aggression


People say and do things online they aren’t comfy doing in real life. Not only do we try to manicure our image to look better, unless we work hard at it, you and I are more naturally aggressive, more divisive, and more hostile virtually than we are in person.

The question is why?


The answer? Because we’re kind of anonymous on-line.


Distance between people desensitizes people.


Military Generals have known this for millennia. Have you ever wondered why soldiers wear uniforms and war paint? It not only identifies a person, but disguises one’s humanity.


Before you judge a soldier, think of how you behave in your own vehicle. Are you more aggressive there than normal (like tailgating the slow movers in the passing lane)?


Because you’re in a 3000-pound armored automobile, you don’t see the person slowing you down as a person. Rather, you see IT as a problem. It’s very easy to get angry and aggressive with IT when they are not seen as people.


Have another think... Even in the supermarket, I’m less kind when I have a shopping cart in my hands, and I bet I’m not alone here.


The same dynamic is at work in social media and our life online.


When you’re online, the meta-machinery is becoming such an easy space to dehumanize others we don’t see as other.


Bottom line? It’s never been easier to be socially known and hidden at the same time.


2. Hate Generates More Clicks Than Love


Long before the endless fake-news arguments of today, TV news and newspaper editors figured out that bad news sells. They learned how to play into our anxiety and fear to get ratings. The 24-hour news cycle and explosion of new media have accelerated those attention-grabbing tendencies.


Social media has put that tendency on steroids. Tristan Harris makes a compelling argument that algorithms used by search engines and social media intentionally prioritize outrage, because, as Harris argues, the major social and tech companies have figured out that outrage spreads faster than anything that would be uplifting and productive.


Here’s what’s sadly true about human nature, or at least human nature in the 21st century: Hate generates more clicks than love.


I’ll admit. I personally struggle with this as a writer. I’m committed to making this blog and my platform places of inspiration, hope, and help.


But I’ve also realized that if I title things positively, not everybody reads it.


For example, I could have called this post “Love Each Other More. Our World Needs It.” 


But “Why Are Humans On The Offensive With Each Other? (5 Reasons Rage Is the New Epidemic) is a much more compelling headline. I’ve experimented with titles enough to know that this phenomenon is sadly true. So, I use a little negative to generate far more positive.


When I title posts and articles, I avoid hate, outrage, and (I hope) sensationalism, but the irony isn’t lost on me that leading with a negative title means a higher likelihood that my content will be read. My typical structure is to lead with the problem most people feel or experience, describe it, and move toward a practical solution.


Hope, followed by help.


3. Any Attention Feels Better Than None


Thanks to technology, there’s an inverse trend happening around us.


We’ve never been more connected than we are today, and we’ve never felt more alone.


In 2018, the British government launched the first-ever loneliness strategy, appointing a minister for loneliness to deal with the deep isolation millions of people feel.


While this isn’t always true, sometimes lonely people will settle for any attention they can get. When you feel nothing, a click, a like or comment can make you feel something, even if it’s not nearly as satisfying as a real conversation, a real connection, or true intimacy.


Sometimes my empathy button is pushed, and I wonder if the trolls who leave me livid comments are genuinely just lonely people just hoping someone notices them.


The next time you’re hoping to get noticed online, put your device down, grab a ball, and retreat to the yard with your dog.


4. Darkness Surrounds Us


Everyone is navigating the flood of information that hits us every day.


From your social media feeds to breaking news flashes to the minute-by-minute invasion of notifications, buzzes, rings, and haptics that disrupt our day, I believe we’re processing more information than humans were intended each day.


This is not good.


I remember my grandparents sharing a newspaper subscription with the next-door neighbor (who lived a quarter of a mile from them). They were perfectly informed with the Friday edition of the weekly newspaper that came out the Wednesday prior.


Now, I have notifications that would literally ping on the minute if I did not silence them telling me up-to-the-minute news of world events, mass shootings, major weather outbreaks, celebrity breakups, and more.


Ditto with emails and status updates. You and I are bombarded every day with information we can barely process, let alone do much about.


Do you know what that’s doing to you?


It’s making you cynical.


Cynicism roots itself in knowledge. The more you and I know, the more cynical we can become. The reason we were so happy when we were younger is that you and I were kind of ignorant, right?


The world needs a character upgrade and a required class in the mature use of social media and how to critically discern news these days.


Might this explain why you feel the way you feel so many days?


5. Anger Invites An Audience, Even When They Have Nothing To Say


What’s the opposite of love? Nope, it’s not hate. It’s indifference.


And when it feels like the world is indifferent and you’re feeling unloved, anger can be a way to get someone’s attention.


Sadly, anger can get you heard, even when you have nothing to say.


So, What Do You Do?


The future can be dark, or it can be different. Personally, I’m putting my heart behind different. And I think different is potentially better.


Here are four questions to ask next time you post, write, blog, podcast, or shoot off that email or text.


  1. What’s my real motive? Am I trying to help, hurt, or just get noticed?

  2. Are people better off, or worse off, for having read what I posted? 

  3. Am I calling out the worst in people, or attempting to call up their best?

  4. If the person I’m writing to was in the room looking me in the eye, would I say the same thing in the same way? 


I’ve found these questions really help me filter my emotions and help me process the difference between a response and a reaction.


Speaking of which, what do you do with the junk you feel—the loneliness, the anger, the outrage?


Here’s the best thing I know how to do: Process privately. Help publicly.


Processing privately can be as simple as meditating on it and waiting 24 hours before you do a thing. Often that’s enough.


Sometimes you’ll need to talk to a friend. Other times you may need to set up a therapist appointment. I’m growing to expect the best and brightest to have regular access to professional coaching/counseling.


After all, the gravitational pull of accidental behavior is always toward unhealthy, not healthy. 


Note: Critique is different from criticism. A critique aims to build others up, not to tear others down. It’s not about NOT challenging others, rather calibrating your approach to both support and challenge with a “For You” intention.


If you can’t figure out how to do that, you’re best not to post anything but cute pictures of that cool dog of yours.



Break Through The Barriers That Prevent Your Campus From Growing.


It can be discouraging to put your heart into your system and team while still seeing it plateau or, worse, decline. But that’s the reality facing many campuses leaders today.


According to one study, 94% of our public institutions aren’t growing. That means more than 9 out of 10 schools, districts, and colleges are stuck or losing ground.


Sadly, people in your community are experiencing widespread polarization and hopelessness, and they need healthy campus leaders more than ever. So, why does keeping people in your schools (much less attracting new learners) feel like such an uphill battle?


It’s time to reverse that trend through pivotal decisions with your leadership team.


Leader and Team Health are significantly connected to the overall strength of your Organization’s Performance. Accelerating Team Performance will prepare you for growth by removing obstacles in your control.


Learn how to navigate the Six Lead Measures of Organizational Health that will inject clarity and direction into your mission and help remove the barriers that stand between you and advancing your mission.


_____


P.S. Here are the two best ways I can help you right now:


1) Get your FREE guide:
5 Evidence-Based Practices to Reclaim More Team Engagement with Less Effort.  www.higherperformancegroup.com/reclaim


2) Schedule a Call:
Let’s talk about the obstacles (and opportunities) that you & your team are currently facing. www.higherperformancegroup.com/schedule




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Why Your Cabinet Is Exhausted and Your Results Are Flat LEADER INSIGHTS: Weekly Team Intelligence for Educational Leaders | Dr. Joe Hill | Higher Performance Group A superintendent I know — twenty-one years in education, relentlessly strategic, the kind of leader other leaders call when they're stuck — sat down at a regional convening last fall and said something I haven't stopped thinking about. "I feel like we're sprinting. Everybody's exhausted. Nobody can point to what changed." He wasn't describing failure. His district is moving. His board is happy. His cabinet shows up. He was describing something harder to name: the specific exhaustion of motion without transformation. 73% of educational leaders in our 987-team study report feeling perpetually behind — behind on initiatives, behind on trends, behind on where they think they should be by now. You're not behind. You've been playing the wrong game entirely. The institutions actually winning? They stopped playing catch-up years ago. They're running a fundamentally different game — with fundamentally different rules. And here's the plot twist: the game they're playing is actually simpler than the one you're exhausting yourself with right now. TQ = IQ × EQ × PQ. When your team's collective attention is fragmented across twenty-three initiatives, the PQ dimension — positional intelligence, the clarity about who does what and why — collapses toward zero. Anything multiplied by zero produces exactly the strategic outcomes you've been getting. The Diagnosis: Three Games, One Winner Let's talk about this like adults who've survived multiple strategic planning retreats and at least one initiative that died quietly in a Google Drive folder nobody checks anymore. There's a psychological phenomenon researchers call "temporal comparison bias" that explains why brilliant educational leaders — people who've built entire programs, navigated accreditation, turned around failing departments — feel perpetually three steps behind. Here's how it plays out in real time: Monday, 6:45 AM. You're scrolling LinkedIn before your first meeting. A superintendent three states over just announced a groundbreaking AI initiative. Your immediate thought: We should be doing that. Why aren't we doing that? Tuesday, 2:30 PM. Conference call with peer institutions. Someone mentions their new enrollment strategy showing "promising results." You add "explore enrollment strategy overhaul" to the list of seventeen other things you're currently "exploring." Wednesday, 10:00 AM. Cabinet meeting. Your VP of Academic Affairs wants to discuss three new program launches. Your CFO has concerns about falling behind on facilities. Your Provost is worried about losing ground in faculty development. By Friday, your strategic priorities list has grown from eight items to fourteen. None have moved forward. All are justified by fear of falling further behind. The institutions you think are "ahead" aren't managing more initiatives better. They're managing fewer with singular focus. That superintendent with the AI initiative? She killed four other initiatives to create space for it. You're not behind them. You're just carrying different weight. They're running a 5K. You're running a marathon with a 50-pound backpack and wondering why you can't keep pace. The real problem? You've been optimizing for coverage when you should be optimizing for impact. Coverage thinking: We need to be doing something in every area — enrollment, retention, innovation, facilities, faculty development, student experience, community engagement, technology, equity. Impact thinking: What's the one thing that, if we did it exceptionally well, would make everything else easier or unnecessary? Coverage creates the illusion of progress. Impact creates actual transformation. (This is exactly why The Team Institute exists — not to add more to your plate, but to help your entire leadership cabinet build the collective capacity to decide what belongs on the plate in the first place.) The Framework: The Three Games Call this the Strategic Games Framework. Or don't. It'll still explain why your last strategic plan produced a beautiful document that nobody references six months later. Every educational institution is playing one of three games. Most don't realize they have a choice. The ones winning? They chose deliberately. Game 1: The Comparison Game (Where 70% of leaders live) Success means keeping pace with everyone else. Winning looks like never falling too far behind the pack. Losing looks exactly the same as winning — just with more anxiety. Average strategic priorities per institution playing this game: 12 to 18. Average implementation completion rate: 34%. Leadership energy spent managing initiatives vs. actually transforming: 85% management, 15% transformation. This game is unwinnable. The moment you catch up, the benchmark moves. It's an infinite treadmill where "ahead" doesn't exist — only "less behind." The insidious part? It feels productive. Lots of meetings. Lots of planning. Lots of slide decks. Zero transformation. Game 2: The Innovation Game (Where 20% of disruptors live) Success means being first. Winning looks like conference keynotes and site visits from peer institutions. Losing looks like spectacular failures that become cautionary tales. The Innovation Game is seductive because it feels like leadership — you're not following, you're pioneering. But here's the trap: innovation without implementation infrastructure creates what I call pilot program purgatory — brilliant ideas that launch with fanfare, then quietly fade when the hard work of institutionalization begins. 8 to 12 new initiatives launched per year. 2 to 3 that survive past Year 2. 60% of cabinet capacity consumed managing "innovation." You're pioneering new approaches faster than your institution can absorb change. It's like trying to teach someone to swim by throwing them in the ocean during a storm. Technically teaching swimming. Practically creating trauma. Game 3: The Multiplication Game (Where the 10% who actually win live) Success means multiplying what already works. Winning produces consistent, compound growth that looks boring from the outside but transforms everything from the inside. Your strategy: Subtraction before addition. Multiplication before innovation. Depth before breadth. The institutions winning this game look unimpressive in conference presentations. No flashy AI initiatives (yet). No radical restructuring (yet). Instead: they took the three things they were already decent at and became exceptional at them. Then they built the capacity to add a fourth. That sequencing is everything. It's the TQ formula applied to institutional strategy — not scattered individual initiatives, but collective focus that compounds. IQ × EQ × PQ, multiplied at the team level, aimed at three things instead of twenty-three. The Case Study: Michael's $0 Transformation Let me tell you about a president I'll call Michael. (Not his real name — but Michael, your former Provost absolutely knows this story is about your first two years together, and she's probably nodding vigorously right now.) Michael led a regional public university: 11,000 students, seven colleges, a cabinet of 10 VPs averaging 21 years of experience each. Combined credentials that could staff a small think tank. Combined ability to finish what they started? Roughly equivalent to a book club that's been "reading" the same book for three years. What Michael inherited: 6 major strategic priorities. 23 sub-initiatives. 14 presidential task forces. 8 pilot programs in "evaluation." 147 action items. Zero clear accountability for whether any of it was working. His first six months were consumed by progress reports: "We had three focus groups." "We're gathering stakeholder input." "We're exploring best practices." Activity everywhere. Impact nowhere. Then Michael did something radical. He stopped playing the Comparison Game. He asked his cabinet one question: If we could only do three things exceptionally well over the next two years — three things that would demonstrably transform student outcomes — what would they be? The room went silent. His VP of Student Affairs said what everyone was thinking: "Are you saying we stop doing everything else?" "I'm saying we stop pretending we're doing everything else. Right now, we're doing 23 things at 40% quality. I'm proposing we do 3 things at 95% quality." Months 1–3: Eliminated 20 of 23 initiatives. Dissolved 11 of 14 task forces. Concentrated resources on three priorities: first-year experience transformation, career-connected learning, and faculty excellence in teaching. Months 4–12: Meetings dropped from 3.5 hours to 90 minutes. Decision velocity increased 4x. Implementation completion rate went from 34% to 89%. Year 2 results: First-year retention: +8.7% — largest single-year increase in school history Career placement within 6 months of graduation: +12.3% Faculty teaching excellence scores: +15% across all colleges Cabinet meeting time: cut in half Leadership team: "Finally feels like we're making progress instead of managing chaos" Same people. Same budget. Same external constraints. Same competitive environment. Different game. If you recognize the gap between your cabinet's talent and what you're actually producing together — and you suspect another individual development program won't close it — this is exactly what The TEAM INSTITUTE was built for. Not a workshop. Not a retreat. An 8-month sequential operating system your entire cabinet builds together, from trust to focused execution, applied to your actual strategic challenges. We don't fix people. We multiply systems. More on that below. The Application: Switching Games Here's what to do this week — assuming your calendar isn't already booked with meetings about meetings, in which case, that's actually your first problem: Step 1: The Brutal Subtraction Audit (90 minutes, next cabinet meeting) Put every current "strategic priority" on the board. Not just the official ones — the real ones. Every initiative people are actually working on. Every pilot being "evaluated." Every task force meeting monthly. Ask three questions about each: Does this produce measurable transformation in student outcomes — not stakeholder engagement, not data gathered, actual outcomes? Are we providing 70% or more of what this initiative actually needs to succeed, or are we setting people up to fail while calling it strategic? And does this build future capacity, or will it always require its own dedicated resources? Then force rank everything. Not 'these are all important.' Actual forced ranking. Stop at three. Everything below three? Stop doing it. Not 'deprioritize.' Not 'put on hold.' Stop. (Someone will invoke sunk cost: 'But we've already invested so much in X!' The investment is already gone. The question is whether you keep throwing resources at it. That's not strategy. That's loyalty to a decision that isn't working.) Step 2: The Capacity Calculation (30 minutes, solo) For each of your top three priorities, calculate the actual hours per week required — from the leadership team and from implementation teams — multiplied by 42 working weeks. Add all three together. Do you actually have that capacity, or are you assuming people will "make it work" by eliminating evenings and weekends? If the honest answer is no, you're still in the Addition Game. Reduce scope, eliminate something else, or accept that you're asking people to work unsustainably. Pick one. Step 3: The Multiplication Protocol (Ongoing) For the next 90 days, before adding any new initiative, task force, pilot, or "exploration," your cabinet must answer one question: What are we stopping to create space for this? Not "we'll find time." An actual answer. If you can't name what you're stopping, you can't start the new thing. Track two numbers: addition-to-subtraction ratio (1:1 or better means you're in the Multiplication Game) and implementation completion rate (below 50% means scattered attention producing scattered results; 80%+ means you've actually switched games). On the Objections: "But our board expects us to address all of these areas." Your board expects outcomes, not activity reports. What would happen if you walked in with this: "We focused all our capacity on three priorities. First-year retention is up 8.7%. Career placement is up 12.3%. Faculty excellence scores are up 15%." Boards don't micromanage success. They micromanage stagnation. Produce compound results and they stop asking why you're not doing more. The Maturity Shift On priorities: "We need to be doing more to stay competitive." → "We need to be doing less, exceptionally well, to actually transform." On activity: Confuses meetings completed with momentum. → Measures transformation produced, not initiatives launched. On the competition: Watches what peers are doing and adds to the list. → Watches what's working internally and multiplies it. On capacity: Assumes "we'll find time." Burns people out. Repeats. → Calculates actual capacity. Subtracts before adding. Compounds. You're not behind. You've been playing the wrong game. The Multiplication Game is harder to start — subtracting things you've invested in, having honest conversations about actual capacity, saying no to things that matter — but it's infinitely more sustainable. And the institutions winning it? They look boring from the outside and transformational from the inside. Your Turn: Which game is your cabinet actually playing? Drop one word in the comments: COMPARISON, INNOVATION, or MULTIPLICATION. Then tag a cabinet member who you think would answer differently than you would. That gap in perception? That's the data. Or screenshot the three game descriptions and text them to your leadership team with one question: "Which game are we actually playing right now?" Ready to Stop Playing Catch-Up? Here's what I know after studying 987 leadership teams across 43 states: the cabinet that can't agree on three priorities isn't struggling with strategy. It's struggling with trust. Without trust, subtraction conversations become political. Capacity calculations become weaponized. Forced ranking becomes a turf war. That's why the Multiplication Game isn't something you implement from a newsletter. You need your entire cabinet in the room, building the same foundation, in sequence — not a two-day retreat you'll never quite finish, but a sustained developmental arc that actually rewires how your team thinks together. That's what The TEAM INSTITUTE was built to do. The TEAM INSTITUTE is an 8-month journey that takes your cabinet from individually brilliant to collectively unstoppable — sequentially, through trust, empowerment, collaboration, and focused execution, each month building on the last. You can't skip trust and go straight to strategy. That's not leadership development. That's wishful thinking with a facilitator. The results from teams that complete the full sequence: 3x performance improvement. 29% higher engagement. 27% better organizational outcomes. Zero burnout increase. Not because we fixed anyone — because we changed the system they were operating in. The requirement is simple and non-negotiable: full cabinet participation. Partial engagement produces partial results. You cannot build team-level multiplication with individual-level development. That's the model that got you here. If you're a leader who sees the gap between your cabinet's talent and your collective results — and you're ready to stop treating that gap as a motivation problem — let's talk. Schedule a 30-minute consultation to explore whether The Team Institute is the right fit for your leadership context. This isn't a sales pitch. It's a conversation between people who refuse to accept that "busy" and "effective" mean the same thing. [LEARN MORE] higherperformancegroup.com [SCHEDULE CONSULTATION] Found value in this? Help other educational leaders find it: → Repost with your honest answer — which game is your cabinet actually playing? → Tag a leader who's exhausted from the Addition Game and ready to switch → Comment with the one initiative you know you should stop but haven't — naming it is the first step The more leaders who shift from addition to multiplication, the better our educational systems become. Follow DR. JOE HILL and Higher Performance Group for weekly Team Intelligence insights. Next issue: "Your Cabinet Mistakes Consensus for Alignment (And It's Killing Every Decision)" We'll explore why your leadership team spends three meetings nodding in agreement, then fragments in seventeen different directions the moment they leave the room. Spoiler: You don't have an alignment problem. You have a 'we've never actually defined what alignment means' problem. And the text messages your VPs send each other after cabinet meetings? Those are where your real strategic plan lives. Dr. Joe Hill | Higher Performance Group | The Team Institute higherperformancegroup.com
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